My rink is closing soon to get all new ice. This is a good thing...we like fresh new ice. But a bad thing because WE NEED ICE TO SKATE ON! So I am kind of frantic right now with my practice time. Okay, not frantic--obsessed, anal, stressed. I'm still recovering from this awful chest flu/bronchitis I've had. My lungs clearly aren't happy to be on the ice at this altitude. But I'm running out of time. So many shows and comps this summer. NEED TO GET READY.
So I skate. Luckily, my body is mostly holding up (knee still hurts). I've been blessed to skate at a rink that isn't crowded, and by crowded I mean, its just me! I can play any song I want. I can put my program music on repeat for endless minutes. No one cares. Its just me.
Today, I put my freeskate music in and pushed repeat. I skated around just visualizing it. Arms here, look there. Breathe. Then I took my position and started. about 1 minute 40 I was dead. Um...the program is 2 minutes 9 second. ARGH! So I sat down, feeling depressed, trying to catch my breath. Drinking water. Blowing my nose. Feeling depressed. What the heck is wrong with me? What type of lame skater am I? Why can't I do this freaking program.
Over and over I skated. And over and over I messed up. There goes "that" camel. Oops, messed up on "that" footwork. Yeah...didn't even attempt "that " jump. Over and over...repeating those beautiful strains over the sound system. It was just me. COME ON ANGIE> FREAKING DO IT! YOU DON"T HAVE MUCH TIME!
Suddenly my freeskate from last season came to mind. Bach. Why was Bach so great? Because I skated it from my heart. I told a story. I loved every second of it. I felt it. It was just like 94 Gordeeve and Grinkov. Or 2011, Caitlin and John. Passion. Love. Joy.
I skated over, took a drink, and reminded myself that this program is FOR MY MOM. GO DO IT ANGIE!
I skated over to my starting position. I looked up and smiled. Relaxed my shoulders and the music started. I moved, I crossovered, I stretched, and pointed my toe. I had perfect ballet fingers. I approached my footwork like I OWNED IT. I did my first jump combination-perfect. Light, fluffy, nice position on the landing. More transition moves and footwork. A bit noisy on the toe pick (hey, this is still Angie we are talking about... scratch!). Good speed and FLEW into my lutz. Footwork good, camel spin...oh yeah! I own that too. Feeling a bit tired at this point. The altitude is kicking in. My asthma is making me want to fall over. I'm hungry and want to throw up, but I remember...I'm skating this for my mom. Its my mom! So I push into my spiral sequence (HEY! pretty cool to actually have a spiral sequence!) and then my sal. Now its time. Arms. beautiful expression, and a HUGE SMILE drops me into a hydroblade and then effortlessly with new power into a perfectly perfect sitspin into a finishing pose.
I squealed--picture Tara in Nagano. I danced over to the cd player and turned off the repeat.
I pushed through and remembered to find the joy.
And then I went and blew my nose again..
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